I Love You, Goodbye
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Emily meets Hotch the morning after J.J. and Will's wedding and informs him she's moving to London. Can Hotch change her mind or will he lose the fight along with a part of himself?


**Summary: Emily meets Hotch the morning after the wedding to inform him of her decision to move to London. Can Hotch change her mind or will he lose the fight along with a part of himself?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Wishful thinking. **

**A/N: ****In this fanfic, Beth is living with Hotch at the time :/ **

**After the wedding, Emily informs the team about her decision to leave, excluding Hotch. **

**This is my first fanfic, which is dedicated to Hotly81173. Thank you Tara for introducing me into writing and giving this a shot. I appreciate your support more than you know and I love you very much. **

** I Love You, Goodbye**

**Emily turned over in her bed waking up with her head pounding, obviously feeling the alcohol effects from her best friend's wedding reception the night before. She was so happy for Will and J.J. even if the night's events reminded her of how lonely she was. "Ugh...I need coffee!" she said to herself. She hurried to the bathroom for a dose of Advil and a hot shower. While the spray poured over her body she began to gather her thoughts from last night. The water mixed with a few tears as she thought about talking to everyone eventually throughout the evening about her choice to go to London. She had talked to everyone on the team with the exception of Hotch who had to get Jack home early and to bed for school the next morning. A pack of profilers and a few drinks after Hotch had gone; she had spilled the beans to all of them, telling them that she would tell Hotch tomorrow. They all laughed and cried last night, but of course, supported Emily in her choice. She smiled to herself as she thought about dancing with her friends, the amazing dinner that Rossi had catered to his home and watching little Henry and Jack playing together. As clouded as her mind was, she began to put everything together._ 'Jack...Hotch...oh shit, I told Hotch I would talk to him today. Oh my god, I dread that conversation'_ she said to herself. Then her own words that she spoke to Hotch during their short conversation came back to her.****_'It's a date? I can't believe I said that to him. What was I thinking?'_ She knew exactly what she was thinking, even if she didn't admit it to herself. She would love a date with Hotch. She was completely taken by Hotch and had been for years, but he was with Beth now and she wanted to see Hotch and Jack happy. She thought that he at least seemed happy, but what little did she know. After her shower, she dressed quickly in her dark blue jeans and pink V-neck sweater. As she put on her boots, she felt a small blister on her toe from the heels she had worn to the wedding. "I knew I shouldn't have worn those damn things to dance in" she said, talking to herself. She danced with every man on the team but only one dance filled her mind; her dance with Hotch. She could still smell his cologne. She may have had a few cloudy moments but she remembered that dance. The way he held her hand and how his hand felt on her back was breathtaking to her and when he held her close, she could feel the heat radiating off of him. They joked and laughed as they danced but the slow number was another story. He only said one thing to her and it stuck with her the rest of the evening. Hotch had told her that she looked so beautiful. She had never heard Hotch say anything like that to a woman, especially her. She knew he meant it and that fact was weighing heavy on her mind, and maybe even her heart, since it happened. She got a Band-Aid from the bathroom for her toe, put on her boots and grabbed her cellphone to call Hotch.**

**As she waited on him to answer, she made coffee in her little four-cup coffee maker. There was no need for a bigger coffee pot when it was only her and Sergio, which was just another reminder that she was alone. As the aroma filled the apartment, waking her slowly, she thought about how she was going to tell him that she had decided to move away to London. She wasn't sure how he would take it. The two of them had become closer through the years after their differences and that meant a lot to her. He had been there for her, even broken protocol for her and she felt like she owed him so much but she just couldn't stay here lost, missing parts of her life. Finally, the call was answered but it wasn't who Emily had expected.**

**"Hello" Beth answered. Emily wondered why Beth was answering his phone. **

**"Hi...umm this is Emily, um Prentiss. Is Hotch around?" she asked awkwardly. **

**"Yes, he's here but he's in the shower. He seems to be in a hurry this morning so he should be out soon. I can have him to call you. Is there a case?" Beth asked.**

**_ 'Oh my God...she slept there last night?'_ Emily thought to herself. "No, no nothing like that. I just needed to speak with him." Emily said, not knowing if Beth knew about their meeting or not and didn't want to cause problems for Hotch. She had already heard through Rossi that Beth was kind of overbearing sometimes with Hotch and she knew that wasn't a smart move.**

**"Okay then I will have him to call you as soon as he's out of the shower" Beth told her. **

**"That will be fine, thank you" Emily replied.**

**"You're welcome" Beth said and hung up quickly. **

**Emily felt her stomach turn as she hung up the phone and pitched it carelessly to the bed. She was jealous and she knew it. She was more jealous of Beth actually getting to be at home with Aaron, the real Aaron, than she was of the woman herself. She knew she was in love with Aaron Hotchner and moments like the phone call she'd just experienced made her sad, maybe even angry that she had never told him how she felt. As she took the first few sips of coffee, she turned to walk back toward the bathroom to brush her hair, nearly tripping over Sergio who was now meowing and clinging to her feet, begging for his morning meal. "Oh my god Serg! You gotta stay out of the way buddy. I'll get your breakfast in a second okay?" she told him reassuringly. Sergio replied with a purr and a meow, refusing to leave her feet, following her to the bathroom. She brushed through her hair, applied her make up and was brushing her teeth when her phone rang._ 'Figures'_ she thought to herself. _'The phone always rings when you have a mouthful of toothpaste.'_ She quickly finished and ran to the bed to answer the phone. "Hello" she said a little out of breath.**

**"Emily, hey, it's Hotch" he said, realizing she probably already knew that with his smiling face gracing the front of her phone. **

**"Hey Hotch, sorry if I bothered you at home. I just wanted to see if you'd still be able to have that talk today." she said with butterflies in her tummy. She wasn't looking forward to breaking this news to him but she knew she had told him she'd always come to him if she needed to talk and there was no way she could leave without facing him. If anyone deserved an appropriate goodbye, it was Hotch. He was the one that gave her a chance in the BAU and had been there for her in so many other ways as well. **

**"Yes, I sure can and no, you aren't bothering me at all. I told everyone to come in at 10:00, so I have some time this morning if you can meet, maybe at the park, you know, the one where the marathon ended? Would that be alright?" he spoke lowly. **

**"Umm yes that's fine." she replied, curious as to why Hotch was whispering. "Is everything okay Hotch?" **

**"Yes, everything is fine Prentiss. I will see you there at 8:00?" he said quickly. **

**"Sure, that'll be good. I'll pick up a couple of coffees for us if you'd like." she added. **

**"Okay" he whispered, "I take it..." he started before Emily assured him. **

**"I remember. You take your coffee black. No sugar, no cream, none of the good stuff" she said sarcastically. **

**Hotch giggled lowly, "That's right, I drink it like a man" he joked back. **

**Emily didn't get to see this side of Aaron very often and it was precious time to her. "Okay, I will see you there with black coffee in hand."**

**"Alright see you then" he said with a big smile that she couldn't see. **

**As Hotch hung up the phone, Beth came out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where Hotch was putting the final touches on his suit, tying his tie. Looking in the dresser mirror, he cursed. "Dammit...you'd think after years of doing this almost every day that I could tie my tie with no problem." he said as he jerked the tie out of its knot, starting all over. **

**"I can help with that" Beth told him as she walked over to him in front of the mirror putting her hands on his pushing them gently from the tie. **

**Hotch raised his shaky hands back up to hers pushing her own hands away. "I can do it, thanks" he said kindly. **

**"What has gotten you so wound up this morning?" she asked feeling useless. **

**Hotch looked at her, changing his attitude quickly. "Nothing, I'm fine. Just stressed out from the whole 'bank robbing and bomb scare' Saturday I guess." he replied, knowing that wasn't what was filling his thoughts. He was very concerned about his meeting with Emily. He could tell something was really bothering her last night and was hoping it wasn't what he imagined. He couldn't lose her again. They had just gotten her back and the team needed her. He needed her. **

**"I understand" Beth said, though Hotch knew she couldn't possibly. "Okay well, I'm going to take Jack to school. I guess I will see you later tonight?" she asked. **

**"Umm yeah, hopefully I won't be home really late. I will let you know." he said. "Tell Jack I expect a hug and kiss before he leaves" he said smiling. **

**"Jack! You're Dad needs a hug and kiss!" Beth yelled from the bedroom. **

**He gave her a stern look and a sigh. "Well, I could have done that myself." he barked as he finally fixed his tie the way he wanted it. **

**Beth looked at him and backed away. "Sorry..." **

**Hotch walked around her and out into the hallway where he met Jack and told him goodbye. As he was rushing out the door, Beth spoke. "Umm...forgetting something?" she said expecting her own goodbye. **

**"Yeah, aren't you gonna give Beth a goodbye kiss too?" Jack chimed in. **

**"Yes buddy thank you very much for reminding me." Hotch turned around and gave her a peck on the lips. "Sorry, just in a hurry this morning." he said as he pulled away. **

**"I noticed." she said sarcastically. "It's kind of offensive that you had to be reminded." she spat at him. **

**"Yeah, I know, I apologize. Just have a lot on my mind alright?" he spat back. **

**"Yeah...well, have a good day Aaron." she said in a tone that Hotch didn't appreciate. **

**"Well, I do chase serial killers all day so I doubt that's gonna happen but thanks." he said, picking up his briefcase. "You too." he said as he turned to go out the door. "Bye Jack. Have a great day at school okay?" **

**"Okay Daddy. I love you." Jack said sweetly. **

**Hotch smiled, "I love you too buddy." he said as he stepped out and closed the door. **

**Emily fed Sergio and finished off her cup of coffee. "Okay buddy, I'll see you later. Be a good boy." she told him as she petted his head and then headed out the door. **

**Hotch had gotten to park first due to the hurry he was in. He had slept beside Beth the night before, but he had also tossed and turned all night wondering what was bothering Emily. He didn't know if maybe he had said something to offend her or maybe the past weekend had gotten to her a little too much. Then horrible thoughts flooded his mind that maybe something was wrong with her health-wise. He wouldn't be able to handle losing her. Emily was very good at hiding her feelings and fears but Hotch knew her tell and he knew it wasn't good. He hoped so strongly that it wasn't the latest thoughts he had on his mind; that she was leaving. He sat on a park bench waiting for Emily, trying to stay positive. **

**Emily pulled into the parking lot of the park. This early in the morning there weren't many people at the park with the exception of a few joggers. Before she got out of her car, she saw Hotch sitting on the park bench, perfectly dressed in his suit and tie. He looked almost sad. She knew he was an amazing profiler and hoped to God that he didn't already know what she wanted to discuss. She felt like she was letting him down but she had searched her heart and soul trying to sort out her feelings; feelings about her job, her friends, her life, and him. She had told Morgan that she had tried to move on after Doyle, after all of the tension and the lies between her and the team. She had tried everything to live her life the way that it was. When she came back from Paris, almost everything had changed. Her relationships with Morgan and Reid were never as strong as they had been. Her relationship with Hotch had changed. He had been there for her more than he ever had before and they become so much closer. As much as she wanted to believe that all of this was the reason she had reached the decision that she did, she knew the real reason she couldn't stay. She and Hotch had gotten closer, a little too close as far as she was concerned. The morning that Emily had woken up and finally decided to tell Hotch how she felt, the team was informed on the plane, by Garcia's curiosity, that Hotch may be dating someone. When she heard Garcia ask Rossi if Hotch was dating and Rossi replied "I don't know", she felt sick to her stomach because she knew that Rossi was covering for Hotch. Rossi would know whether he was or not and she knew that. **

**Emily pushed her bangs back with her sunglasses, opened her car door and stepped out, her hands shaking. She walked slowly toward Hotch with two cups of coffee. By the time she got to the park bench, Hotch had stood up and turned to face her. **

**"Emily...Good morning" he said as he put his phone in his pocket. **

**"Good morning Hotch" she replied, handing him his coffee. "One simple, black, boring coffee" she teased. **

**Unable to resist her beautiful smile as she joked, Hotch admitted "Yeah, well I've drank it that way ever since I woke up my first morning home after being stabbed and couldn't drive to the store to buy any creamer." **

**"Ahh I see. Well, maybe you should have taken me up on my offer to help you out at the time " she reminded him. **

**"I know you meant well, I guess I've just become headstrong with things like that." he told her. **

**"Become?" she continued to joke, trying to break the tension that she knew they both felt. **

**"Cute Emily" he said sarcastically with a smile accompanied by the dimples she loved. **

**"I aim to please" she replied giving him a grin. **

**The two sat on the park bench with their coffee, both of them curious about the conversation ahead. **

**"So Emily, what's on your mind? You are in good health right?" he asked in a concerned voice. **

**"Oh yes, nothing like that Hotch" she assured him. **

**"Good...good, so what it is that you wanted to discuss?" he asked as he sipped his coffee. **

**Her eyes diverted from his eyes down to her coffee. "Hotch, I ...I wanted to let you know that I have tried so hard since I got back to..." she eased out before he interrupted her. **

**"You're leaving." he said lowly, his loss of breath cutting his words into pieces. **

**"Hotch..." Emily said as she looked back up at him. Hotch stared into her tear filled eyes as the morning sun hit them. **

**"You are leaving aren't you? You couldn't look at me when you started talking." he said, using his job skills on her that she didn't appreciate. Couldn't they just sit here and talk as friends without profiling each other? "You can't leave mm...us now. Why are you leaving?" he almost whined. **

**"Hotch, A lot of things have changed since I've been back and some not for the better." she said honestly. "I've tried so hard to just have everything the way it was before Doyle, but feelings were hurt and the team thought I was dead. Dead Hotch. And it's very traumatic for someone to have their friend, that they thought was dead, to just walk through the door." **

**"I know but..." Hotch stammered, his heart literally aching. **

**"No, I need to finish please before I can't get the words out." she said as he played nervously with his tie. "I appreciate what you did for me more than you will ever know. You saved me. I will never forget what you did for me. I know I have said thank you before but it doesn't seem enough. I have to leave. It****'****s just not where I need to be right now. I love everyone, you know that, but I just can't act like nothing ever happened and be the exact same person everyone knew. I can't do that." she choked out. **

**"Okay..." he said softly as he looked away and then back to her eyes. ****"****Is there anything that I can do to change your mind about this?" **

**Emily's heart was tearing into as she listened to his voice, making his feelings appear. She was sure that he wasn't sharing her state of mind and knew that he'd hate to lose any member of his team. She couldn't let him know her thoughts, her dreams and her need for him in her life. "I'm afraid not... I have given this more thought than you can imagine. It****'****s almost all I think about." she added. **

**"Where will you go?" he asked quickly. **

**"Umm...London." she told him, jittery from either her nerves or all of the coffee she had consumed that morning. **

**"What?" he asked shocked now more than at the fact that she was leaving. "Why London?" **

**"Clyde Easter asked me to run the London office." she told him carefully. "I'd have my own team." she said, trying to show him a silver lining to her news to him. **

**"Ohh...well that's great I guess" he told her, obvious to her that he wasn't truly happy for her by the sound of his voice. Sure he was proud of her. She was an amazing agent and he knew that. He felt that she deserved the world especially after everything she's been through and how hard she worked to get to where she is. From the day she came into his office for the first time, he knew she felt the job in her veins and that she wanted this job for the right reasons; not that the other members on the team didn't, but Emily was ecstatic about her job. When Hotch finished his coffee, he threw it with force into a trash can about two feet away. **

**Emily could see that he was irritated. She never enjoyed seeing him with that look or irritability on their job and for him to feel that way because of what she'd just told him, made it hard for her to focus. She didn't want to go, but she was lost and only one person on earth could save her and he was sitting right in front of her. But he was with Beth and he seemed happy. Everyone on the team seemed to think so also, so her mind was made up not to tell him how she had felt since the moment he came to her apartment and asked her fly to Milwaukee with him. She knew he appreciated and trusted her on the job. Most of all, he knew that she gave up her job for him; the job that she had worked so hard for, and he came to see her. What she didn't know was that he left his home, risking his marriage, to go to her apartment and then to Milwaukee. Hotch didn't even realize how he was reacting. He was too busy trying to deal with that feeling in his stomach that was making him sweat. **

**"You begged me for this job and now I'm begging you to stay." he told her looking into her eyes, surprisingly telling her that there was maybe another reason he wanted her to stay. **

**Hotch wasn't making this any easier on her but she knew his pressuring was only for good reasons. "Hotch, please don't...I'm " she tried before he cut her off. **

**"You're rushing into this." He ran his fingers through his hair, not caring what affect it had on his appearance at work later. **

**"No...No I'm not. I've thought about this for a long time. I told you that. This isn't a "whirl" as you say." she told him as she pulled her sunglasses down, over her eyes. "I don't want to leave, but besides this job, there's nothing for me here anymore." she said watching his composure completely break before her eyes.**

**"Take your glasses off" he ordered her. **

**"What?" she asked him, trying to stall his seeing the heartbreak in her eyes. **

**"Take off your sunglasses...please." he asked again. **

**"So you can profile me?" she asked firmly. **

**"No****…****.****"**** he said, reaching to her knee to lay his hand over hers ****".****..so I can look into your eyes and tell you something." he told her, his breath hitching. **

**Hotch continued to stare at Emily as she removed her sunglasses, apprehensive about what he was going to say. He knew that the words that were about to pass his lips had been trapped inside him for years. **

**He looked into her tear filled eyes and finally, the emotions that she had always wanted to see, surfaced. ****"****Emily, do you remember Arizona? Gideon's last case at the college?**** Do you remember what happened in the hotel breezeway when I walked you to your room?"**

"**Hotch… don't. You know I remember. Please don't bring that up right now." she begged. **

"**This is the perfect time for me to bring it up." he corrected. It has everything to do with whether you should stay or go." he said, causing a confused look from her. He could see that she was in so much pain, torn over leaving her job that she loved, her friends and as much as he couldn't stand seeing her hurt, he hoped that some of her indecision had to do with him; that maybe she cared more for him than she let appear. "That moment we had wouldn't have happened if there wasn't something between us and you know it." he pushed. **

"**Hotch…" she interrupted as she looked around the park, becoming fidgety and getting irritated at the noise from the increasing traffic. Hotch noticed also and was bothered by it as much as Emily. One would think a park would be a nice place to have a talk, but the sounds of the outside world were blurring the place Hotch wanted to remain and was trying to pull Emily into.**

"**Emily, I felt a lot of things that I shouldn't have that week, but Tubbs was after brunettes and that fact forced me to have those feelings, no matter if I should or not." he said truthfully. "So….when I kissed you before you went into your room, I did it because I wanted to. It wasn't a "whirl" either, Emily, and you felt it too and there's no way you can sit here and tell me you didn't." he said confidently. "And you can't tell me that you didn't feel anything last night when we danced. I meant it when I said I think you are beautiful. You are. You're everything a man could want and more and I'm not ignorant to that. Tell me that you didn't feel anything Emily." **

"**Yes, okay, I did." she admitted, knowing that those feelings had never changed and had grown into so much more since then. "But that was then and this is now and I have to go" she said, standing up, tossing the remaining portion of her coffee left which she had completely forgotten about drinking. Hotch moved quickly, standing up with her, putting his hand on her arm. "Hotch, let me go. I have a flight later and I have some things I have to take care of first." she said, using any reason to avoid this conversation. She knew she still felt the same and even knew that she was in love with him, but she sometimes wondered if she stayed here and if he confessed his feelings for her, would everything else become obsolete? Would her relationships with the team be suddenly perfect again? Would everything be like it used to be on the job? ; Her team trusting her unconditionally? **

"**Today? You're leaving today? What are you running from Emily? Me?" he demanded, his grip on her arm becoming tighter. **

**Emily jerked her arm from his grasp, "Yes!" her voice becoming louder and her face expression telling Hotch that she was just as shocked as he was that she'd said it. "You're with Beth, Hotch. Why are you doing this? You're happy….and Jack is happy and that's great and it's the most important thing." she said lowering her gaze from his eyes to the soccer ball that had come their way.**

**Hotch turned toward the ball and kicked it roughly back to the kids that it had gotten away from. Controlling his emotions and anger, he turned back to Emily and gently put his hand on her upper arm. "Can we please go somewhere else and talk?" he asked. **

"**There is really nothing left to talk about Hotch. Let me do this. I need to do this for many reasons and you have a lot of nerve to stand here and try to keep me from doing what I know is best for me and what I need to do to be happy." she replied nervously, looking now into his glassy eyes. **

"**Are you going to be happy Emily? Are you really going to be happy in London?" he asked.**

"**Well, I'm not happy staying here so I guess I'll never know until I try." she told him, now crying. **

"**Please….just give me a few minutes, but not here." he pleaded. "There are things you don't know. There are things I need to tell you before you make this step."**

**Emily was forced to see the begging in his eyes. Her brain and her heart were having a war and with him standing in front of her, staring in her eyes, she couldn't push him completely away anymore. "Okay, a few minutes." she agreed as they made their way to their cars. **

**Hotch's sighed as his cellphone rang and Morgan's name flashed on his screen. "Yeah Morgan. What is it?" he barked into the phone, afraid Morgan was going to deliver news to him that was going to prevent him from his future conversation with Emily. He had to do this now before he changed his mind and just let her run away from him.**

"**Hey Hotch, Sorry to bother you. I thought you may already be here when I came in. No one else is here yet and I can't find the Halderman file and I needed it to clear up a few things." Morgan rushed out. **

"**Well, I put it on your desk Morgan, so you tell me." he spat. **

"**Yeah, that's where I left it. I looked and it's not there now." he said frustrated. **

"**Alright Morgan, just keep looking and hang tight until I get there. I'm going to be a little later, so let the rest of the team know. Just let me know if we have a case." he told him quickly, hanging up abruptly. **

"**Everything okay?" Emily asked.**

"**Yeah, Morgan has misplaced a file. You'd think people could be a little more organized." he complained. "So, did you wanna take your car or ride with me?" he asked her as he unlocked his car that was parked two spaces from hers. **

"**Well, I assumed we were going to talk in your office, until I overheard your conversation with Morgan, so I had planned on driving. I needed to go there anyway. I'd like to say goodbye to everyone again, though it may just make things harder on all of us." she told him sadly.**

**Hotch didn't want to hear her talking about leaving or saying her goodbyes to everyone. He knew he couldn't handle a goodbye in front of the team. "No, not the office. Everyone else will be there soon and I don't want to try to have this talk with people beating on the damn door constantly." he told her. **

"**Okay, so where?" she asked, knowing where he was going to suggest. **

"**How about your apartment?" he suggested, hoping she would say yes making it unable for her to run from him until he told her what he needed to say. **

"**Are you sure that's a good idea Hotch?" she asked carefully.**

"**Sure, why wouldn't it be?" he asked curiously, then realizing why she asked.**

**His facial expression changed into a look of pure innocence. "Emily, I just want to go somewhere where we won't be interrupted again."**

"**Okay, we'll go to my place." she said, heading for her car as she raised her keyless entry to unlock the doors. "I'll see you there then." **

"**Okay, I will be there as soon as I stop for gas." he said, giving her a look of trust that she would be there when he got there. She gave him a small smile as she opened her car door and got in. She looked back at Hotch to find him still looking at her as he got into his own car. She seriously considered driving straight to the airport, asking for earlier flight, leaving everything she owned behind. Emily sat in her car and watched Hotch pull out of the parking lot. She was contemplating what she should do, knowing that Hotch would be upset if she didn't show up at her apartment. She sat there in her car as he was on his way to her place, fighting with herself about what to do. It was then that her emotions took over, confusing her mind even more. She felt the tears rolling down her face before she knew what was happening. Her heart ached, physically ached, for him and what might have been. She had to do this, she had to move on. _'Just let him go'_ she told herself as a tap sounded on her driver's side window.**

**She looked to her left, tears streaming down her face, and saw someone she'd never, in her craziest dreams, expect to see standing by her car. **

"**Agent Prentiss, I need to talk to you. Please get out of the car." Beth told her, making Emily aware that she was very angry. **

**Emily unlocked the door and stepped out of the car irritated at the intrusion. "Can I help you Beth?" she asked kindly, trying to appear clueless as to why Beth was upset. **

"**Yes, yes you can. You can stay the hell away from Aaron, that's how you can help me." she lashed out as Emily slammed her car door shut.**

"**Excuse me?" Emily replied quickly, revealing her offensiveness. **

"**Yeah, I've been sitting in my car watching you two. I knew Aaron was in a bigger hurry this morning than usual and now I know why." Emily stood there shocked at her words. "I saw him holding your hand. What the hell are you trying to pull?" she demanded. **

"**Listen, I don't know what you're trying to say here, but I met Hotch here to discuss something totally work related." Emily said, trying to avoid her. **

"**Yes and when did you two plan this little meeting? Last night? I saw your little dance with him and that was no normal dance with your boss." she told her firmly. "You need to mind your own business and stay away from him. It was bad enough hearing him say your name in his sleep last night. I sure don't need you standing here treating me as if I'm stupid to the fact that something is going on here."**

**Emily was blown away at the nerve that Beth had coming here, accusing her of interfering in her and Hotch's relationship, not to mention thrown by her statement about Hotch saying her name in his sleep. That bit of information made her almost form a smile right in front of Beth, but she kept it contained. She knew that Beth didn't know exactly what they had said to each other, so that gave her the initiative to end this conversation, but her feelings for Hotch took over so she came back with the first words that came to her mind. Stepping closer to Beth, Emily moved in for the kill. "You know, it's pretty sad when you have to stalk your own boyfriend." **

**Beth became enraged at Emily's remark and before Emily realized what was happening, Beth lifted her right arm and punched her left cheek. **

**Emily raised her hand to cover her cheek. "What the hell? What is wrong with you?" she yelled. "I suggest you get in your car right now, go home and think about the fact that you have just assaulted a federal agent. I have no respect for you whatsoever and it is only the respect I have for Hotch that is keeping me from kicking your ass, which I have no doubt that I can do." **

**Realizing the bounds she had overstepped, Beth looked at Emily with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that but you need to know that I am not letting up on this and that I care a lot for Aaron and my relationship with him and with Jack." **

"**Beth…." Emily said, gritting her teeth and clenching her fist by her sides. "Do not dare even think about dragging that innocent little boy into this so called conversation! I have done nothing to affect your relationship with Hotch, so if you are having doubts, then you need to take that up with him instead of punching me." she said, knowing that she very well could have indirectly caused friction between the two. Emily could feel the vibration of her cellphone ringing for the third time during her conversation with Beth. She didn't bother to look at the screen, knowing it was Hotch wondering why she wasn't at her apartment yet. "I have to go now." she said as she turned to open her car door. **

"**You just make sure you know that I will be watching you Agent Prentiss." Beth said as Emily got into her car.**

**Emily slammed the car door and turned to look at Beth. She pushed the automatic window lever and added her last piece of advice. "And you just make sure that you remember that hitting other people because of your insecurities is nothing short of bullying, something that I think Jack wouldn't find to appealing about you." **

**Beth opened her mouth to speak as Emily rolled her window up, ignoring her. Emily backed out of the parking space, threw the car in drive and pulled away quickly, her tires squealing lightly. She looked into the rear view mirror to see Beth still standing there watching her as she pulled onto the main road. She couldn't get over the gall the woman had to attack her like that and now had to face Hotch with a small black eye that his girlfriend had given her. She took her phone out of her pocket and sure enough, she had three voicemails from Hotch. She didn't bother listening to them, knowing what the messages contained. This had to be one of the most emotionally draining days of her life. She felt guilty enough about possibly messing up Hotch's relationship and maybe even wrecking the chance for Jack to have a Mom like he needed, which was something she had dwelled on for years. She loved that little boy with all of her heart and would do anything for him and his father. Now that she had seen a side of Beth that no one on the team had seen and possibly not even Hotch, her priorities changed. She knew she had to keep her decision to leave Washington, but she had to at least let Hotch know what he was in for. She knew he cared for Beth but she was beginning to think that this was what Hotch meant about the 'things she didn't know'. As she stopped at a traffic light, closely approaching her apartment, she looked in the rear view mirror at the swelling forming on her cheek._ 'That bitch'_ she thought to herself. There was no point in trying to cover the bruise with make up because she couldn't keep the tears from falling, thinking about everything that had happened in the last twelve hours. She almost wished she'd never told Hotch she would meet him at her place and that she'd just ended the conversation at the park. As she pulled in front of her apartment and parked, she saw Hotch's car unoccupied. She got out of her car and quickly went inside where Hotch was sitting on her couch waiting for her. He'd left the door unlocked so he didn't hear her come in. She walked through the kitchen, her boots hitting the linoleum floor and catching Hotch's attention.**

**Hotch stood up and as he turned to face her he spoke, "Hey, what took you so…" he began to ask until he saw the bruise on her cheek. "What the hell happened to you?" he asked frantically, quickly walking to her. "Are you okay? Tell me what happened." **

"**Hotch, I need you to calm down first okay?" she told him, not looking directly at him, hoping to hide the severity of the swelling that had increased since she'd left the park. "I'm okay, it's just a bruise."**

"**Just a bruise?" he said lifting his hand to her face as she turned away from his touch, suggesting to him that someone had hit her. "That is not just a bruise Emily. Who hit you?" **

**Emily took a deep breath and sighed, knowing she couldn't deny it. They both had seen enough pictures of abuse in their line of work to know when it looked like someone had been punched. "Emily, tell me now who hit you." he demanded again, this time raising his voice. **

**She looked up slowly eventually meeting his eyes. "Okay Hotch. It was Beth." she told him, preparing herself for what was to come. **

"**What?" he almost shouted. "Beth? Clemmons?" **

"**Yes, that Beth. How many women named Beth do you know Hotch?" she said becoming more enraged about what Beth had done and wishing as every second passed, that he had just kicked her ass anyway. "She was at the park sitting in her car spying on us during our conversation." **

**Hotch ran his fingers through his hair as the anger boiled in his eyes. "Oh my god…why? and why did she hit you?" **

"**She stopped me as I was about to leave the park and basically told me to stay away from you. She saw everything Hotch, she even saw you holding my hand. She got a little too close to me, throwing accusations at me and I smarted off. I couldn't help it and she's lucky she didn't get her ass kicked." she added. **

"**Dammit!" he screamed as he looked at her eye again. Trying to calm down, he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a clean dishcloth sitting on a small rack on the bar. Emily stood and watched him reach into the freezer of the side by side refrigerator, gather some ice, and wrap it up in the cloth. "Here" he said as he brought it gently to her face. "Hold this on there and I will be right back. Please don't leave; I still want to talk to you." **

"**Hotch, no…don't worry about it. It's okay." She tried to assure him, know that he wasn't going to agree. **

"**This is not okay Emily and I am going to handle this." he told her, grabbing his jacket off of the back of the couch. **

"**Hotch!" Emily yelled as he was walking toward the door. He jerked himself around to face her. "I have to go soon. My flight leaves in a few hours and I have a lot to do." she reminded him. **

**Hotch walked toward Emily. "You're still going?" he asked her as he laid his jacket back down, hoping that she had somehow changed her mind. **

"**Yes…I am. I have to Hotch." she told him once more, wincing from the coldness of the ice and the pain. **

**Hotch moved in even closer to her raising his hand to the cloth and taking the compress out of her hand. He laid the ice in the sink and brought his hands to her face, careful not to touch the bruise. "Don't…don't leave Emily. You don't want to do this." he told her softly, looking into her eyes. "Don't leave me please. Just give me a chance." **

**Emily raised her hands to his, pushing them away from her face somewhat forcefully. "Hotch, please don't make this any harder than it already is." she begged him, tears now forming once again in her eyes. **

**Hotch saw the emotions storming inside her and knew that this wasn't what she really wanted. He knew that if he was the reason she was leaving; that he could turn everything around and be the reason she would stay. He reached his hand to the back of her head and tangled his hands in her hair and brought his lips to hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth, taking them both back to that moment they'd shared in the breezeway years ago. Emily fought the kiss and began to push against his chest, forcing him to step back, breaking the kiss completely and causing her hair to fall out of his hands.**

"**No…stop it Hotch, this isn't going to change everything and you know it" she said as he stepped closer again, wrapping his large hands around each of her hips, pulling her against his body. **

**Hotch slipped his right hand up the length of her back, still holding on to her left hip with the other, until he reached her hair and gripped it slowly, yet firmly. He pulled her hair forcing her head back enough to make her neck visible to him. With one long stroke of his tongue, he licked her neck from the base to the area behind her ear. He smelled the scent of her skin and it drove him to bite her neck hard. "Tell me again" he said. **

"**What?" she stalled, as she thought about the only way she knew she would stop this; only if he stopped. She had avoided this moment for so long, for so many reasons. She didn't want to cost Hotch his job or his happiness. It was time for her to think about being happy herself and she knew in her soul that he was the key to that happiness. Her white flag was slowly being raised during the fight she was dealing with, and had been dealing with for months. She always wanted to tell Hotch how she felt about him but everything always seemed to get in the way and today wasn't any different. But she was tired of allowing it to happen.**

"**Tell me again…" he whispered lowly in her ear. "…that you want me to stop. Tell me Emily" he said as he moved to kiss her again, thrusting his tongue against hers then pulling it out to lick her bottom lip and nip at it. **

"**I can't Hotch…I can't tell you to stop" she said, her voice shaking. She put her hands on his face and pushed his lips from hers, urging him to look into her eyes. "But I can tell you that I am not going to miss that flight" she whispered. "I can't."**

**Hotch's heart sank but he didn't breathe a word. He just threaded his fingers through her hair again and kissed her more passionately than he'd ever kissed anyone. The kiss became animalistic by not only Hotch's movements, but Emily's as well. She put her hands in his hair tugged as his tongue made its way down her neck to the bottom of the V at the front of her sweater. She felt the heat of his hand touch her skin as he sneaked it under her sweater and ran it over her pink laced bra feeling how hard her nipples were. His cock ached at that discovery and he couldn't contain himself enough to lure her to the bedroom. He reached behind Emily, stretched out his arm and with one sweep he slid everything accenting the bar onto the floor. They both were startled at the sound of glass breaking but did nothing but claw at each other even more. Hotch grabbed her hips and lifted her onto the bar and immediately pulled up her sweater prompting Emily to raise her arms. He took off her sweater and threw it carelessly to the floor. Emily moaned as his hands went back to her breasts, now with both of his thumbs dipped inside her bra, rubbing them roughly. **

"**Oh god…Hotch" was the only coherent sentence Emily could form as Hotch reached for the clasp at the front of her bra and opened it quickly, releasing her large breasts for him to finally view. **

"**You are so unbelievably beautiful Emily" Hotch murmured, as he pulled the bra straps down ruthlessly. He couldn't believe that he was with her caught up in this moment that both of them couldn't stop and had wanted for so long. As he took one of her hard nipples in his mouth, Emily whimpered. **

**Hotch pulled her nipple roughly and licked it with the flat of his tongue and then sucked it back into his hot mouth again. He ceased his assault on her breast momentarily. "Lie down baby" he told her as he laid his hand behind her head, his forearm protecting her back as she fell back onto the bar, her head landing on the dish towel he had quickly placed there. He moved to unzip her boots and she kicked them onto the floor at his feet. Kicking her boots to the side, he reached for the button on her jeans, realizing they were button fly. This excited him even more and he took the top button between his fingers and pulled harshly, releasing every button, causing Emily to become even more turned on. He hooked his fingers on each side of the waistband of her jeans and pulled, persuading her to lift her hips. He pulled her jeans from her, letting them turn wrong side out as he brought them down over her socked feet and throwing them onto the floor as well, leaving her now laying in front of him in only her matching pink satin thong. He ran his hands up her legs until he reached the tiny piece of satin she wore. He took ahold of the sides carefully, forcing her hips up with his hands. As he pulled the thong down her legs, her breath hitched. He heard her loss of breath, causing a smirk that she didn't miss. Emily had always wanted this but if she had to be honest with herself, she was a little nervous. He didn't seem nervous whatsoever and she found that somewhat intimidating. Hotch became more and more aroused by the second. He slid his hands down to her ankles pushing up, forcing her to bend her knees. She allowed him to raise her legs until the bottoms of her feet landed on the bar as Hotch spread her legs apart. He lowered his head and with one slow stroke of his tongue, he bathed her pussy with his saliva. He repeated the action, moaning as he did. "My god, you taste so good" he said as he spread her folds, burying his tongue in her core. Her scent was driving him crazy making his cock even harder as Emily thrust up against his mouth, her words barely escaping her. "Hotch, plea…please ." she begged.**

**Hotch put the tips of his fingers at her entrance and wiggled them there, not yet giving her what he knew she wanted. "Soon Emily, you don't worry about that" he promised. He kept his fingers in place as he rubbed her clit with his thumb coarsely. Moving his thumb out of the way, he flicked at her clit with his tongue, causing her to squirm. Emily was drenched for him and he reveled in the fact that he could turn her on like that. He pushed two of his thick fingers into her agonizingly slow, drawing another cry from her. As he pushed and pulled his fingers in and out of her repeatedly, he licked her clit and then took it in his mouth and sucked hard. **

"**Hotch!" Emily screamed, coming undone under his hot mouth. **

"**That's it Em…come on…cum for me" he groaned. He felt her body tremble and her pussy clench around his fingers, as she came for him as she did in his dreams, and many of his daydreams. "Mmmm Hotch…oh god please" she pleaded, noticing that Hotch was still fully clothed, excluding his suit jacket, hoping that this man didn't wear a suit and tie even when he made love. **

"**Our first time isn't going to be like this with you on a bar, as sexy as that is. I want to take you to bed. Can I do that?" he asked eagerly. **

**Emily looked into his eyes with hesitation but she honestly couldn't think about anything else that she wanted more than this moment; however she couldn't avoid thinking about the pain that was to come in the next few hours. **

**"Please…just allow me this before you go." he said as he helped her down off of the counter and looked deep into her eyes. **

**The only answer that filled not only her mind, but her heart as well was finally illustrated when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Emily broke the kiss long enough to give him a verbal answer. "Make love to me Hotch" she said with a smile accompanied by tears in her eyes. Hotch took her by the hand and led her to what he thought was her bedroom. As he stepped closer to the doorway, she giggled and pointed toward the opposite doorway across the hall. "It's this one over here" she informed him, pulling him by the hand into her room, closing the door behind her. Emily, completely naked, walked him to her bed and turned around to face him. "You're sure you want this?" she asked, knowing that she was going to be leaving him in a few hours.**

"**I've never been more sure of anything in my life Emily" he told her. At his assurance, Emily quickly went to work on his tie, pulling it slowly out of his collar and allowing it to fall to the floor as well, while Hotch stepped out of his shoes, kicking them aside. While attempting to unbutton his shirt, Emily became frustrated with the buttons and gave in, ripping his shirt, hearing the buttons fly across the room. "You're really lucky I have another one in my ready bag." he told her in a raspy voice followed by a deep giggle. He leaned in and kissed her while pushing his now bare chest against her naked breasts, coaxing her to lie on her back. He quickly covered her body with his, letting her feel how hard he was for her. Emily reached down undoing his belt buckle and unzipping his slacks, succeeding in the task more so than with his shirt. Hotch lifted his hips enough to rid himself of his pants and boxer briefs before returning back to her. He lay next to her body, placing his hand on her face. "I'm so sorry she did that to you" he said sympathetically, looking at the bruise. **

"**No, not now" she told him harshly. "Just c'mere" she said while wrapping her arms around him, pulling him to her. **

**Hotch needed little persuasion and immediately covered his body with hers. His mouth went to her neck as she ran her fingers through his hair wildly. As his tongue traveled to her breast, she ran her hands over his muscular back and lifted her head just enough to bite his shoulder fiercely, causing a hiss from him. **

"**Hotch…" she said breathlessly. "I'm aching…please." **

"**I know baby…" he replied, "and it's gonna be so good."**

**Emily couldn't wait any longer; he felt so good against her body and she was craving to feel him deep inside of her. She reached lower and closed her fist around his massive cock, stroking it, bringing a loud moan from his lips. **

"**Emily…" he groaned as she slid her hips over, lining her core directly under him and placed the head of his cock at her entrance. Hotch felt her juices cover the head of his cock and the heat from her pussy broke all of the control he had left. He wanted to take his time, but between the fact that his engorged cock was tormenting and that he was due at work soon, he knew they were running out of time. He hated the fact that this moment was limited but if he had to be honest with himself, he wasn't sure he'd ever have this chance again. **

**Hotch alternated thrashing his tongue over both breasts, as he grasped her hand that was still moving and squeezing his cock. He moved her hand away and took himself in his own hand, rubbing his cock all over her wet center, and then tapping it, almost spanking her with it. He couldn't contain his needs a second longer. He pulled back a little, supporting most of his body weight with his right hand at her side, his left placing his member at her opening. He looked into her dark brown eyes and pushed himself completely into her with a growl from deep in his chest producing a whimper from her from his invasion. **

"**Hotch…wait" she wailed. "Give me just a second" she told him as he filled her up entirely, giving her the feeling that he was splitting her into. **

**He gently pulled out of her apologizing for his forcefulness. "I'm sorry…" he said as he stilled his movements.**

"**It's okay…I'm okay, just…go slow" she said, taking in air to catch her breath. **

**Hotch cock was pounding inside her and he had to move. He dragged himself out of her easily, giving her the time she needed to adjust to his size. After a couple of strokes, Emily urged him on, placing her hands on his lower back and pressing him into her again. Hotch thrust gently into her, running his fingers through her hair, becoming lost in her eyes. Emily spread her legs far apart for him as he began to pick up his pace. Her heavy breathing turned into pants as Hotch reached under her to grip her ass stretching her, making her hold around his cock tighter. He squeezed her ass as he began rocking in and out of her. He felt as if his heart would pound out of his chest as she looked at him with sadness in her eyes. This was the most pain he'd ever felt in his heart, aside from nearly losing his son, and it was consuming him. The tears built up in his eyes before he had a chance to hide them from her. As he made love to her his tears multiplied, falling onto her chest. Emily gasped as his warm tears fell on her, giving her the answer to a question she'd asked herself many times. If she ever doubted that he loved her, that thought was completely erased from her mind within the next few moments. What felt like millions of butterflies in his stomach, his feelings stirred inside him deeper and deeper with every move into her. As he put his hands on each side of her face locking eyes with her, the words that he'd kept inside, for what seemed like forever, rolled out of him at last. "I love you…" he began… "I've always loved you Emily" he added. **

**Emily's eyes widened at his confession and her heart throbbed harder. She loved him. She knew she loved him, but she just couldn't play with his heart and then leave the country. She lifted her fingers to his lips and held them there, begging him not to torture her heart even more. They both knew she was leaving today and she couldn't see the point in agonizing them both, so she didn't say anything. She brought him closer and with a move Hotch probably never assumed she was capable of, she flipped them both over, moving herself above him, keeping his cock buried inside her. She moved above him, sliding up and down on his hardness, quickly reaching her climax. "Just let me love you Hotch" she pleaded. "Just let go for me." **

**Hotch grabbed her hips firmly as Emily moved her body into a sitting position causing his cock to hit her cervix. He gazed in her eyes as his tears continued, stimulating the onset of Emily's as well. They cried together as she rode him wildly. Hotch slid his coarse thumb to her clit and moved it around in circles causing her to moan his name as she came. Her body jerked as her muscles clenched around him, nudging him closer to letting go of everything he had kept in a box for years. He ran his hands up her sides to her breast, enveloping them in his hands and squeezing her nipples. He couldn't deny himself any longer, watching her breast sway in front of his face. He wrapped his large hands around her ribs and leaned up just enough to take a nipple in his mouth, causing her to clench around him as she came down from her high. **

**Emily laid her body against his changing the angle. "Oh my god baby" he cried as he thrust his hips upward pushing into her roughly while biting her shoulder hard. **

**Just then a ringing from Hotch's pocket caused them to hesitate. Neither of them wanted to stop and just then, Hotch assured her. "It's Beth. It's her ringtone. Don't stop Emily" he said as he continued to move inside of her. **

**Emily took both of his hands and stretched them above his head, lacing her fingers between his. She squeezed his hands, bearing her body down fiercely on his until their hips connected. "You're so beautiful" she told him, noting the sweat rolling down his neck. She couldn't resist licking the salty and intoxicating mixture of him. Along with tasting him and feeling his cock throbbed inside of her, she once again soared around him surprising herself and driving him into madness. **

**Hotch quickly flipped Emily over on her back, pulling himself out of her, and hearing her moaning loudly at the loss of him. Emily let her legs fall closely together, needing the friction that she knew would sooth the aching of her pussy. He spread her legs apart roughly and plunged into her core, hearing a sound from her insinuating that she'd lost her breath completely. **

"**Aaron" she groaned, shocking him at the use of his first name, which he'd heard more than once in his dreams. **

**Hotch always remembered saying Emily's name in his dreams; he just didn't realize he'd said it out loud, torturing Beth's ears. "Emily" he moaned in her ear after licking the length of it. **

"**Aaron, just feel me" she pressed while running her nails down his back. "Let go." **

"**Ahhh… Emily" were the last words that left his lips as he pushed and pulled two more times, the last making him cum inside of her, his body appearing possessed as he emptied himself into her. He moved his head to kiss the bruised cheek, just barely touching it. As he tried to control his breathing and his emotions, he hid his face from her by laying it into the pillow she rested her head on. **

**This was the moment they both had been dreading for the last few hours. Hotch looked at Emily and kissed her lips, then pushing his tongue inside. The kiss was a slow, passionate kiss and yet was such a bittersweet moment that neither would forget. As the kiss ended, Hotch's heart literally filled with pain. He moved slowly away from Emily and stood up. "I have to go…" he said hating the words coming from his mouth, but not being able to handle the pain he was experiencing. "…and I know you do as well." **

"**Yeah, I guess I should" she replied, sitting up, covering herself up with the sheet. She watched him as he starting dressing, realizing he'd have to go to his car to get another shirt. Emily looked around the room, then remembering the clothes that she was wearing earlier remained in her kitchen. "I will just have to handle some things later or I will miss the flight." **

"**Yeah, I need to make a call to Morgan I guess and see how things are going. I think I will just take the rest of the day off unless we get called in." he said staring at the walls. **

**Hotch wouldn't look in her eyes as they spoke to one another and she wasn't going to play that game with him. "Hotch" she spoke tenderly, as he cringed at the sound of his surname. "Look at me please" she begged as she got up off of the bed and put on her robe lying on the nearby chair from her morning shower. She walked up to him and took his face in her hands. "Do not do that. I don't regret one minute of what happened…do you?" she asked carefully as he finished dressing himself, all but adding his shirt, jacket and tie. **

"**Do not ever ask me that again Emily. I have dreamt of making love to you for years. I will never regret it." he told her truthfully. He moved his hand to the back of her head and ran his hand over her hair, trying to capture the feeling of it for his memories later. He looked into her eyes. "I meant it when I said that I love you and nothing or no one is ever going to change that." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Stay Emily, please?" he begged her, letting her know how much he wanted her to, searching her final decision with his eyes. **

**Emily knew his words were genuine and she knew that she loved him as much, if not more, than he loved her, but she also remembered that this one moment wasn't going to change all the things preventing her from staying. He was the main reason she was leaving but her heart was torn over many things and she'd decided she had to make that step and get away from her past. Everything that had happened this morning didn't help matters and Emily thought it was the best move at the time. "I can't Hotch…" she said as he looked away. She raised her hand to his jaw and forced him to look at her. "Aaron, I have to do this."**

**Hotch looked at her, heartbroken. "I guess because I love you, I have to let you go" he said with a quiver in his voice. **

"**Please try to understand this Aaron. I can't stay. I will never forget today or ever forget you." she told him as her own voice trembled. **

"**I understand" he replied, not really sure that he did completely. "I will let you get dressed and I'll take you to the airport" he suggested, as he stepped toward her doorway. **

"**You don't have to do that Aaron" she told him sincerely. **

**He turned to her. "I know. I just wanted to." he said, suggesting to her that he didn't want this to end and making her believe that it may not be the best idea.**

"**Are you sure you should do that?" she asked.**

"**Yes, I'm sure." he said quickly. **

"**Okay, well I'll be out in a few minutes.' she said turning to the bathroom as Hotch walked out of the bedroom and down the hall, approaching the kitchen where he looked down at Emily's clothes on the floor. Reaching to pick them up, he caught a whiff of her scent on the clothes. He couldn't refrain from bringing them to his face, inhaling her scent as his eyes filled with tears again. **

**Keeping his composure, he leaned over and picked up the items he'd thrown onto the floor during his assault on her earlier, putting the broken pieces in the trash can and the salvaged pieces on the bar. He called Morgan, as he went to the car for his ready bag, and let him know that he wouldn't be in the rest of the day but would be nearby, of course, if they were called in on a case. "Also Morgan, I'm taking Prentiss to the airport and I will be home soon after that if you need me." he told him briefly.**

"**What? She told the team she wanted to do this alone and that it would just be too hard on everyone." he told Hotch in an hurtful tone. **

"**She was going to Morgan but something came up and her plans changed." Hotch told him, not knowing really what was best to say at this time. **

"**Alright, tell her we love her" Morgan said, grinning and getting the feeling that something was going on between the two.**

"**Will do" Hotch replied as he hung up quickly. **

**Hotch put on his shirt from his bag and then added his jacket and tie. A few minutes later, Emily came into the living room and turned to see her clothes lying on the couch, where Hotch had laid them. "I'm ready…I guess." she practically whispered, as she picked up her clothes and stuffed them in one of her suitcases.**

"**Okay. You look beautiful Emily.' he said with a smile, showing his dimples slightly. "Umm what about Sergio?" he asked, seeing the beautiful black cat walk into the living room. **

**"I have a friend picking him up for me later and putting him on a plane next week, giving me time to settle in." she told him.**

**"I see, okay well I guess this is everything you need?" he asked, looking down at her suitcases in the foyer. **

**"Yeah that's it for now, I guess. I'm having some other things shipped later on." she informed him.**

**Hotch helped her with the bags she had packed the day before, picking up two of them and leaving her with one. Emily kissed Sergio on the head and stroked his fur. "I'll see you soon buddy, be good." she told the feline as he rubbed his face against her hand, purring loudly. They left her apartment in his car, the ride silent, making the situation unbelievably awkward. **

"**Emily…" he said reaching over to her lap to grasp her hand. Just then his cellphone rang and it was the ringtone that he didn't care to hear. "Dammit." he cursed as he pressed the 'answer' button on his Iphone. "Hotchner" he said into the phone. **

"**Aaron, its Beth. Why did you answer the phone like that?" she asked being as suspicious as always. **

"**Habit" Hotch replied abruptly. "What do you need?" he asked, knowing exactly why she was calling. **

"**I tried you at your office and tried your cellphone. Rossi said you weren't in today, so where are you?" she pressed. **

"**Beth, I will be home soon, maybe an hour or so. That's all you need to know right now. I wanna talk to you when I get to my apartment, so be there." he added as he hung up immediately. **

"**You okay?" Emily asked gently. **

"**Yeah, I'm okay. What I wanted to say was…" he started before she interrupted. **

"**You don't have to say anything Hotch" she said as she squeezed his hand lightly that she held as he drove. She knew they were approaching the airport soon and she really didn't want to make this hard on either of them. "Let's just leave it alone, please. It was beautiful Hotch. Every moment was amazing and I will never forget it." she said looking at him as he kept his eyes toward the road, his left hand gripping the steering wheel tightly. **

**Hotch pulled into the airport parking lot and pulled into a space. "Well, you're flight is in an hour right?" as he confirmed what she had told him earlier, gathering her bags out of the trunk.**

"**Yeah, that's right" she agreed as they walked through the airport doors. **

**Emily turned her belongings into baggage and confirmed her flight. She and Hotch purchased a coffee and found a seat near the viewing window and talked for the last few minutes they had left. They mostly discussed where she would be living but she never exposed the actual address to Hotch. Using his profiling skills, he knew she was avoiding telling him and he just left everything at peace. He knew for sure that Garcia and J.J. would know where she was staying and he was counting on that fact, knowing that he wasn't giving up on their relationship yet. He knew that he was going home and ending things with Beth and that's what he had tried to tell her, earlier in the car, before she stopped him. Hotch had a strong feeling that no matter what he said to her, she was going to do this anyway. **

**The final call for her flight was announced and Hotch's heart sank and it took all the strength Emily had to look into his eyes. "I guess that's my cue" she said as she stood up facing him. Hotch stood up, feeling as if his legs would collapse under him. **

"**Okay, well you take care" he told her gently, as he touched her hair once more. "Take care of that bruise" he said, his reply filling him with regret for throwing her cold compress in the sink before seducing her in her own kitchen. **

"**I will" she told him as she picked up her small carry-on bag and her purse. **

"**Can I kiss you goodbye?" he asked, his voice breaking. **

"**Of course you can" she replied with a small smile. **

**Hotch gently took her face in his hands and brushed his lips against hers. She slipped her tongue out and Hotch wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply. Emily knew she had to go and as much as she hated doing it, she hated even more that she had to remind him. "I really have to go" she said. **

"**I know" he said as he turned to walk her to the terminal, the heat from his hand radiating on her back. **

"**Are you ready to board Miss?" the gate agent asked Emily.**

"**Ummm…yes, I'm ready" she said nervously as she gave the stranger her ticket. She turned back to look at Hotch one last time and found the strength to smile. "Goodbye Aaron" she forced out. **

"**Goodbye Emily" Hotch said, his heart skipping a beat as he watched her disappear. **

**Feeling helpless, Hotch walked back over to the viewing window to watch her plane take off. He didn't know why he was torturing himself this way but he couldn't help himself. When his legs couldn't hold him up any longer, he sat in the chair Emily had sat in, hoping it would make him feel closer to her. He sat there waiting a few minutes when regrettably he watched as the plane lifted into the air and the wheels folded themselves up into the base of the plane. He buried his hands in his face and completely fell apart. He had cried many tears in the last hours but the final loss of her overtook him and he cried aloud, his body shaking from the intrusion on his body. As he sat there wiping the tears from his face, trying to gain his self-control, a voice interrupted his agony. **

"**I missed the flight" was the only words he heard and it caused those millions of butterflies all over again. **

**In the next seconds, Hotch had come to the realization that he was hallucinating. He stood up and turned around anyway, surprisingly seeing the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Emily was standing there, her face soaked with tears. He never wanted to see her crying but he knew that it was evidence that she couldn't go through with it and hoped to God that he was the reason why. "Oh my god. Emily" he called out, smiling through his tears. **

"**I couldn't do it. I couldn't go" she said as she ran into his arms.**

**Hotch held her tight and pressed his face into her hair, knowing in his heart that he wouldn't have to relive a memory a second longer. He pulled back from her, but only inches away, looking in her eyes. "What changed your mind?" he asked curiously.**

"**I just couldn't leave with you not knowing how much I love you" she said astounding him. "I love you Aaron. I don't care what we have to go through. I want you, and I want all of you, completely, every day and every night. I wanna go to bed with you at night and wake up with you every morning. I wanna be with you and Jack. I'm not going to give up on us. I can't." she said crying harder now. "I know it's all a mess right now but I want to do this." **

"**Oh my god, Em, I love you so much" he said kissing her passionately. Breaking the kiss, he added, "I'm not giving up on us. I will handle things with Beth. I have to be with you, that's not an option any longer." **

**Emily smiled at him and gave him a kiss on his uneven shave that had built up throughout the day, sensing the faint smell of his cologne. "Well, Let's go." she said hurriedly, taking his hand in hers and heading toward the exit. **

"**Where are we going Emily?" he asked with a smile, then a laugh that made him almost sound like a boy.**

"**To work, silly" she said prompting his eyes to become glassy. He smiled and put his arm around her neck and brought her closer to him as they walked through the airport. "So the stoic Aaron Hotchner, in reality, is an emotional guy huh?" she joked. **

"**Only with you Emily. It's like Rossi told me, you bring everything out in me." he admitted. **

"**You and Rossi talk about me?" she asked with a laugh. **

"**What better subject is there?" he said with a wink. **

"**You have a point." she dished back, laughing and smacking him on his ass, causing a few people to stare. **

**With a shocked look, Hotch commented, "I can't believe you did that!" he said playfully.**

"**Oh there's a lot of things I'll do Sir." she flirted. **

"**Oh really?" he asked with an intrigued look. **

"**Yep" she said simply. **

**Hotch leaned to whisper in her ear. "Well Emily, as true as that may be, it's gonna be a lot of fun finding out." he said as they walked outside, into the parking lot. **

**She gave him a low giggle. "Okay…it's a date." **


End file.
